Well, listen, don't you think you better go to bed? Big day tomorrow. Well, what do you believe? That you were an honours student? How could I hand over to someone who couldn't get through school on his own? I don't know. I thought at the time.if you could get good grades, you might get into a good college. Because I paid your teachers to give you decent grades.
High school was a pain in the ***, but I graduated. I mean, I can do this if I set my mind to it. You know, I could help Billy until he gets the hang of it. Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this? - Penguin? - What an idiot. You can sit around all day, goofing off, sipping drinks, chasing invisible penguins. Eric?! You're gonna give the company to Eric? He is a bad, bad man! What do you care, Billy? What do you care who I appoint to run the company, huh? I mean, I'm doin' you a favour. Jeez, what.? Are you some damned moron? Can't you just stop for two seconds? I'm trying to tell you that I'm retiring, and Eric, not you. Do we have to do this with Captain Dipshit here? You were brought up with every advantage. All right, what's up? I've had to face some hard truths tonight, Billy. Eric is pregnant! Congratulations, Dippy! Feel those kicks! He's gonna be a soccer player. This one's outta control(!) (sniffs ) It's poop again! He called the *** ''poop''! This is the best night of my life! I'll get you damn kids for this! You're all gonna die! Billy, could you step in here for a moment? I have big news. Here he comes! Who the hell is it? What do you want? Judas Priest, Barbara! One of those flaming bags again! (Barbara ) Don't put it out with your boots, Ted. (rings doorbell) Oh, my God! Old man Clemens hates ***! Shh. He's gonna *** when he realises it's ***. Wait till old man Clemens realises it's a bag of ***. When are you gonna find whatever it is you're lookin' for? Here's a nice piece of ***. How long will they have jobs once Billy has the hotel operator speaking gibberish? Oh, Billy, Billy boy. How many people work for Madison? - 61,000 and change. Our dream was to one day turn it over to our only son Billy. My late wife Emily and I started this company.with a 15-unit motel in Patchogue, Long Island. I just think he might not be mature enough to run a Fortune 500 company. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Oh, my God! I am the winner! - Billy is not an idiot. Hey, Billy, who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson? Jack Nicholson now, or 197 4? '7 4. One, two, three! Hey, Billy, how come you ain't poundin' any tonight? I don't know. (fast gibberish ) That's it, Billy! Get the hell outta here! (slow gibberish ) - Nice talkin' to you, Billy. This is a big night for me tonight, gents. (yells gibberish ) Please, Billy, please, no gibberish tonight, please. Gentlemen, I can't thank you enough for coming this evening. Well, this guy can stay in my room, I'll tell you that much. Because you took your sweet-*** time coming down here.these gentlemen will miss their flights. Did you fall asleep or did you pass out? Shut up! That's enough, Billy. You think so? - I fell asleep by the pool for a few hours. (slurps ) - Hey, Carl, what's up? - Nothing much, Billy. Oh, really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan. Where's Billy? Juanita said he'd be down in a few minutes. And our operations manager Carl Alphonse. Have you all met? Eric Gordon, my executive vice president. Sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl? Gentlemen? I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. If you'd told me there were Triscuit crackers. Oh, that boy's a fine piece of work all right.
You gotta dress yourself up and look nice, too. Now you get yourself upstairs and get ready. Billy! You shouldn't pull that crap in front of your father's business associates. There's nothing to worry about, big fella. They'll treat you real respectable, like. Whee-hee! Call the zoo! All the people at the zoo are very nice, penguin. Don't run! Don't run from me! Penguin! Penguin. No! Penguin! Don't you dare run away! Come here, Mr Penguin! I'm one of the good guys, penguin. There no penguin! - (squawks ) It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around here. Ah! Oh! (squawking ) Holy jeez! Lookee what we got here. Nudie-magazine day! Nudie-magazine day! Nudie-magazine day! Nudie. What's today? - October? It's nudie-magazine day! Yeah! Watch out, butler! Ooh, you're a quick one. Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can't remember. Have five daiquiris? No, you remembered to do that. There's something important I was supposed to do today. ~ Suntan lotion is good for me ~ You protect me ~ Tee-hee-hee Oh, the sun tries to burn me, but you won't let it, will ya? Ultraviolet rays - bad.